At this moment, it usually takes me 1-10 days to answer a comment on my blog.
I try to get to at least a few questions a day but you may also want to post your question on a sleep help group in case I'm not able to get to yours quickly. I've listed some sites below that may help you out. Feel free to share other ones you find helpful.
Babycenter
Mumsnet
Cafemom
Circle of Moms
I try to get to at least a few questions a day but you may also want to post your question on a sleep help group in case I'm not able to get to yours quickly. I've listed some sites below that may help you out. Feel free to share other ones you find helpful.
Babycenter
- Teaching your baby and toddler to sleep
- Baby Whisperer Moms USA and Baby Whisperer Moms UK
- No Cry Sleep Solution USA and No Cry Sleep Solution UK
- Non-CIO Sleep Support
- Gina Ford UK
Mumsnet
Cafemom
Circle of Moms
Shannon @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteI've been reading through your site and it's been helpful learning about transitions etc. I have a 18wk old son who was 6.5 weeks early - he spent a month in the NICU. During his first 11 days i saw only able to hold him twice. I was Sick with HELLP syndrome which is reason for early delivery. We are blessed to have such a healthy, thriving, generally happy little one. But given our older age we've started discussing a 2nd - my husband is not going to go for it if we can't get Liam to sleep better at night.
From the time he came home he has been what I call a "nearby baby" he has done better with sleep if one of us is in proximity. I wear him in a sling ( i do have some attachment parenting mindset) I need some help organizing his sleep! He's breastfed, bottles when I am unavailable. I work nights as a trauma nurse (9p-7a), dad takes over on those nights. Our son has consistent natural times he is tired and is always put down for bedtime same time. He will sleep from then (7/8pm to 11/1am) from which then on is a crap shoot. Some nights it's an all night scream-athon, some nights it's one more wake to feed. My husband struggles on nights im not there ( i dont mind a night feed as my son still has some catching up to do weight wise) When he does get back to sleep he consistently wakes at around 6am. When I get home in the am I usually nurse him and we nap. Problem is that this "nap" can last for hours. If its a morning that I didn't work he reverts to a 8/9 am nap. Then 12 and a quick power nap at 4pm.
We can't cry it out, my husband has tried holding him off and tried to soothe him back but he screams- our ped doesn't want us doing CIO due to his prematurity. We eliminated dairy from my diet and that seems to have helped with him waking up screaming I've tried adjusting his nap times - it has no effect on his night sleep. he sleeps like a champ during the day!! His longest stretch of sleep in recent memory has been 4 hours. The best word I can describe my son at night is "erratic". HELP!!
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteShannon,
You sound like you'd really benefit from The no cry sleep solutions with a touch of the baby whisperer in there. Sorry to not get to you sooner! Look over the book reviews/posts about them and it'll give you an idea of what they are about. Best of luck.
Rachel
olika @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
ReplyDeleteHi! I have a question here... My baby girl is 4.5 si sleeps 12 hours strait at night and then 4 naps 1 hour each, she wake up always smiling and happy... but I can calm, or wind her down in my arms, or by singing to her, she became very distracted and start smiling and talking, and some time, when tired just crying... (generally she doesn't like to be in my arms, she likes my company, when she plays, she like to listen to me, and touch my face, but she feel restricted in my arms, she wants to move, and roll over...) and it's impossible to take her from play activities and put her right into crib, she will never fall asleep :) So this haw I wind her dawn, I use the bouncer, Bounce her a few minutes, until she starts closing her eyes, then I pic her up, while she is still awake and put her into the crib, she then just look at me, turn to the side, pop the finger in her quit little mouth and fall asleep in minutes. so Am I using a prop ? Is this gonna cause problems in the futures? What do you think ? Thank you!
P/S : You have a wonderful blog, you did a great job!
RachelStella @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
DeleteOlika, That has the potential to be a sleep props, but I wouldn't' worry about it tons yet and just 1)work toward weaning how long you bounce before sleep, the amount of bounce and putting her to bed when she is less tired 2)include other things as part of her pre-sleep routine like reading a book to take the place of bouncing, 3)Consider holding her before sleep in your arms even if she doesn't get tired and sleepy. Many kids this age won't get sleepy like they did as they were newborns before sleep times. You put them to bed wide awake and they will chat for a few minutes (some will cry for a few minutes to settle) then fall asleep� 4)make sure the waketime isn't too long so she isn't overstimulated before sleep time and has a better chance of drifting off more easily.
Rachel
Veta @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says..
ReplyDeleteRachel,
I have a few questions - I have been reading the books on sleep training and my brain hurts (Baby Whisperer 1&2, BabyWise, HSHHC, downloaded G.Ford's book) So, I hope you can help me sort out what to do when.
We (twin boy & girl) are on a 3-hour routine right now at 15 weeks (13 weeks gestational since they came 2 weeks early):
Feedings at 7, 10, 1, 4, 7, dream feed at 11
No night feeds anymore
Waketimes are no longer than 1.5 hours
They are breastfed, but I weigh them before/after feeds to ensure they get a full feed - no snacking going on. They are gaining weight really well and have consistent diaper counts.
They nap after each feed. We have a good routine of going to sleep - some soothing on my part takes place (swaddle/hold the boy with a pacifier in his mouth, once calm, lay him down, he goes to sleep; carry the girl in the upright position, slowly swaying side to side until calm, then lay her down; low lights/music; she might start fussing and I recognize it as her way of going to sleep, and she does). So, no problems with actually falling asleep for naps or bedtime - angel babies in that case.
However, the naps are erratic. A few weeks back, the 45-minute intruder showed up. We tried soothing them back to sleep - works 50/50. I read on your blog about preemptively going in and trying to prevent them from waking. Works 50/50.
Obviously, it's difficult to maintain a routine with the Activity part if the naps are cut short. In addition - they are tired and that's why they fuss when they wake up 45 minutes into their nap. I tried CIO a couple of naps so far - some progress was made as the first time we've formally done it, they both fell asleep after 15 minutes. The second time I tried it, it was more of an erratic attempt. I gave them both pacifiers after 15 minutes of crying. They just wouldn't calm down nor they would cry full force, they were just restless, so I decided to intervene and soothe.
Besides the fact that growth spurts are very confusing to me and hard to keep up with in the twin situation, I just read about wonder weeks on your blog, and my mind is completely about to explode :) We are at week 15 and the boy has shown a tremendous jump in his alertness, so I think that could be going on right now and earlier, we had a growth spurt, but I can't tell for sure. I know that last week they ate a lot more food than this week and the alertness levels are different.
So, this is the context.
Veta @ My Baby Sleep Guide - says...
DeleteMy questions are:
1. Morning nap. I understand I am supposed to transition to the 9 am and 1 pm nap. If they wake up at 7, we can hit the 9 am mark eventually, but their waketimes are 1.5 hrs at the most, so it may be more like 8:30 nap. Then we go down for another nap at 11:30 after the 10 am feed. This seems to be an extra nap. Do you call this 2nd morning nap? The question is when will this nap need to be dropped - can you point me in the right direction on your blog? I read about afternoon naps vs. night sleep, but couldn't find the clear direction on this 2nd morning nap.
2. Dream feed - according to BabyWise, we are ready to start dropping the dream feed, but I am not sure how to do it. The book recommends moving it to earlier times, but I am afraid it will move the morning feed earlier.
3. 45 minute intruder - CIO - do you do it for every single nap? If they cry themselves to sleep, the entire routine gets off track - how consistently should this be done? I may be interested in more gentle methods since this is the only sleep problem we experience - the going to sleep isn't an issue, it's getting back to sleep on their own once they've awakened 45 minutes into their nap. I consistently watch for their cues to go to sleep an because they go to sleep easily for their naps, I assume they are not overtired. I try to make sure they stay up long enough, though. We have had poop happen in the middle of the naps, as well, but I think that was when our E.A.S.Y was off due to these short naps.
4.The boy is still swaddled and uses the pacifier heavily prior to sleep. He is at the stage of starting to use his hands more for self soothing, which I try to encourage, but he is too erratic with them during sleep and if he knocks the pacifier out, he cries. I have to replace it until he falls asleep and gives it up for good. If he wakes int he middle of the night without it - he will cry. I haven't tried to wean him off it yet.
5. So, with so many developmental things happening (growth spurts, wonder weeks, dropping feeds, naps, weaning from pacifier) - I am trying to make sure I sequence changes in somewhat the right order:
I am thinking of waiting on weaning the pacifier and start letting him sleep unswaddled after we drop the dream feed; then the nap. What would make most sense? Does a wonder week mean I can't introduce any of these changes then? I will read that book next :)
Even if you can give me specific links in your blog to some of the questions, I'll take that. I am so persistent with making sure they nap properly that I let myself be quite upset over the 45-minute intruder. I don't expect for them to sleep longer than 1.5-2 hours, but would like to see them learn how to fall asleep back after that awakening. I read on one of your blog posts that if CIO doesn't work at this time, to try back later, when they are older. How do I introduce the CIO into this scenario? My concern is that by the time they CIO, they are exhausted and the entire routine is off. I guess, the idea is that it will take a few days, but this goes back to my question #3 - do I do it for every nap several days in a row? They just may not sleep for those days much... To make sure it's not done during the wonder week?
6. I will still try to explore other no cry methods, as I haven't tried the wake to sleep. Recommendations on what else might work may be helpful. I assume I shouldn't try CIO during a wonder week, which we are probably starting... Maybe, the 45 minute naps are a result of the wonder week development???
7. In that case, should they just get up after 45 minutes or should I work with them to go back to sleep?
mybabysleepguide @ My Baby Sleep Guide - Says...
Delete1) You will keep up doing a nap after each feed right now and for sometime. Waketime before first nap is usually the shortest. As baby stays awake longer, you'll move to more of a 3.5 then 4 hour routine (some may be 3, some may be 4 depending on what waketimes they can handle at different times.). You will eventually have a short nap in the evneing then this will be dropped so no nap after the second to last feed of the day. The other naps disappear in number as you extend the routine out. Look over the routine posts in the index and in the nap index you'll find posts about nap 1, nap 2 etc.
2)Look over the posts I have on the dream feed. http://www.mybabysleepguide.com/search/label/dreamfeed
3) look over the short nap posts and extending nap posts in the nap index. Sometimes you'll do the cio (or whatever) for every nap, but at this age, doing so can sometimes not work so well because they'll get too overtired. Many people like to work on one nap at a time. But this can backfire because of inconsistency. If short naps happen all the time, then I'd recommend doing either all naps, or starting with a nap, like the am, that many babies have more success sleeping longer in. Look for methods to extend naps in the extending nap post.
5) What order is a lot of personal preference as well as how your baby is doing with stuff. If a baby is addicted to the pacifier and waking frequently, you might drop it sooner. If he is sleeping fine with it, you may wait until much later. You can make changes during wonder weeks and other developmental things, but if you can work around them it is ideal. But that can be hard to do and many babies do fine with changes even in the wonder weeks. Some weeks aren't too rough for some babies.
You are certainly not the only one who gets upset over short naps! It can be frustrating. At least (and I know this doesn't make you feel much better) they fall asleep easily. If you work for an hour to get a 20 minute nap it is even more frustrating ;) WhenI introduce CIO, I will have a time limit, especially at this age. With older kids It might be an hour or something (like HSHHC recommends) and I'll end the nap after. With younger kids it'll be something shorter (like 15 minutes you mentioned above) so I don't end the nap after, I'll help them fall asleep after. Usually over time they get used to settling even with this help then. If they don't, then you change things up.
6) short naps could be wonder week, but I wouldn't bet on it ;) Look over the sleep training posts (see index) for suggestions on ST methods as well as the nap post index. If you read through comments on night wakings and short naps you'll find some methods. I am working on moving these over to posts and some especially for newborns.
7) I like to see if they can go to sleep on their own first. If I try for several days and no progress (and I feel I've tried the method or methods best for them) then I will try to hlep them go right back to sleep when they wake up, even with a swing. If I can't get this to work, then I will get them up and then try again to see if they can do this on their own, or even with my assistance, a few weeks later.
Rachel