Won't Fall Asleep At Sleep Times - Plays, Cries, Or Does Both

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Here are some possible reasons why your child may not fall asleep at sleep times. Keep in mind that it is normal for many children, especially older children, to take 15 or so minutes to fall asleep:

• Your child is not tired enough. This usually results in playing. Often young babies will play for 30 minutes or so before going to bed if they are not quite tired enough. My son Joshua would play for 2 hours (yep, his entire nap) if I ever put him to bed too soon--you have to figure out what your own child does. Some children, like Joshua, will play for quite a while before falling asleep and then get overtired and wake early (see the too long in bed problem)
• If your child was really sleepy during a feed then he may not be ready to settle for a nap at the usual time (more likely under 4 months of age).
• Your child may need an increase in waketime before his nap so he is more tired. You do reach a point where an increase in wake time will no longer work because it pushes other naps or bedtime too late. When this happens, it may be time to either shorten a nap or drop one.
• Your child may be getting too much sleep at other times (other naps or during the night) and is consequently unable to sleep at this time since he is not quite tired enough to fall asleep (although he very likely will be tired enough to misbehave and act cranky). This situation commonly happens with the afternoon nap when the morning nap is too long.
• A common thing for babies to do when they are not tired enough (although this isn't always the reason) is to lie in bed for 15-30 minutes and then start crying. Parents often think their child has been asleep the whole time and is waking from pain etc when it is not the case.

• Your child is under stimulated. Young babies get stimulated very easily (even looking at a wall is stimulating for a newborn) and so under stimulation is not usually a problem. As children get older they need more stimulation and physical activity to wear them out. If your active baby gets no stimulation during his waketime (e.g. he is in a car seat during his entire waketime) then he may not be tired enough to take his nap at the usual time.

• Your child may be overtired and/or overstimulated. A child that is overtired is more likely to cry before a nap and will cry longer than usual if he normally cries before a nap. But this is not always the case. For example, my son will play whether he is under or overtired. This of course makes problem solving even more tricky!
• Have you recently dropped a nap and not made a future nap period a little earlier?
• Your child may simply need an earlier nap time with less waketime before the nap.

• Your child may be hungry. Always rule out hunger before considering something a sleep problem. Your child may be in a growth spurt or may not have eaten as much as normal during his last feed (e.g. he was too sleepy to eat, he didn't feel well).

• Your child has a disrupted sleep routine. A disrupted routine could include something that happened the current day or the even the night or day before. While some children don't mind a few disruptions, other children are very affected by them.

• Your child has an inconsistent or nonexistent sleep routine. A child that has an inconsistent or nonexistent routine does not have consistent internal rhythms to help him know when he should be sleeping and for how long. See Why have a schedule/routine?

• Your child may be uncomfortable
• Is his clothing itchy?
• Does he have eczema? Talk to your doctor about getting something to help if lotion doesn't fix the problem.
• Is his mattress uncomfortable? I suggest buying the best mattress you can afford and preferably a hypoallergenic one. If you are using a pack 'n play as a crib you can buy padded sheets and even put additional blankets for padding under the sheets (make sure it is SAFE).
• Is he too hot or too cold? See Getting the Right Temperature.
• Is he in pain? **Does your young baby have gas or is an older child teething? **Is baby sick? **Does your child have acid reflux? **I've noticed that some things that don't bother my son too much when he's awake (like teething) will be a bit more bothersome when he is trying to sleep since he doesn't have other things to take his mind off of the pain. You can all probably relate with this when you're trying to go to sleep and you notice your sore neck or back for the first time.
• Does he have a wet diaper? Some children are more sensitive than others and do better with diapers that are extra absorptive like huggies supreme. These unfortunately usually cost more. I would first try the next size up to see if this works.
• Does he have a dirty diaper? If he has a dirty diaper you obviously need to change it. Keeping with a eat/activity/sleep routine usually helps reduce dirty diapers during sleep times. For more on this see my post on poop and sleep (yes, there really is a post on that!)
• Is his tummy upset from something in mom's diet if she is breastfeeding or new solid foods that have been introduced? If your baby is formula fed he may be constipated (uncommon with breastfeeding).

• Your child may be going through a phase. You probably don't like this answer but sometimes this is what is going on and you just have to wait it out

• Your child may need extra time to unwind before falling asleep. You MIGHT be able to help your child unwind by having an extra long soothing period or 15-30 minutes of calm activities before bed. This might not help since some kids seem to need extra time to themselves to unwind before dropping off to sleep. If your child always takes X amount of time to fall asleep no matter what time he is put down then you may want to put your child down earlier to sleep if you are always having to wake him up from his naps (and he seems to need more sleep at this time) or first thing in the morning.

• Your child is learning a new skill. Children practice new skills (even when they can't quite do the skills yet) before they fall asleep and even in their sleep. Obviously if you're trying to crawl or walk when you should be sleeping it can cause some disruptions :)

• There may be distractions that are keeping your child up like toys etc. Remove these distractions and consider making the room dark. See Light And Dark And Their Effects on Sleep and Sound And Sleep.

• Your child may have separation anxiety.

• Your child does not know how to go to sleep by himself due to accidental parenting or inappropriate sleep props/associations. That's ok. It happens to the best of us and is a little hard to prevent when you have a very fussy newborn. See Sleep Training in the blog index for ideas on how to get your baby to sleep better (this can be used for babies of any age depending on what method you are using and what your personal preferences are).