Pre-Sleep Routine

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The sooner a pre-sleep routine is started (I recommend it even with newborns), the less likely there will be problems trying to settle your child.

Nap Routine
A winding down period before a nap is a must for all children. For babies under 6 months of age it may be a good idea not to play with them or stimulate them 15-20 minutes prior to a nap. You can also use calm activities or
special "wind down" toys that are less stimulating shortly before a nap.

During the wind down period you want to avoid as much stimulation as possible to help your baby calm down prior to sleep. Particularly as your baby gets older, talking and eye contact will become more and more distracting and make it difficult for your baby to settle so these things are good to avoid. Some babies may even need to have their eyes covered or their faces snuggled into your shoulder before nap times.

 Some older children will benefit from calm activities before nap time for as long as they have a nap.

Gina Ford recommends not cuddling with a baby too much during awake time or else baby won't be settled with cuddles before nap time. What I do is similar to this but not so extreme.  I try to have baby play by himself for at least a few minutes before a nap. Then when I pick him up to get him ready for bed he's extra snuggly and happy to be in my arms. I still cuddle him most of the time he is up though.

Bedtime Routine
At bedtime try not to make things too complicated and do not rush things because children can sense when things are rushed. Plan at least 30-60 minutes if bath and bottle are included and 5-15 minutes if these things aren't included. Ferber recommends having the final part of the routine take place in the child's room so that he has a positive association with going to sleep. This quote from Ferber sums up my thoughts pretty well on this subject. Just remember that what you do now will create habits that you'll have to live with or deal with (change) later on.

"Although I do believe some bedtime rituals are better than others, there are few absolute rules regarding sleep behavior. If your routine is working -- if you and your child are happy with it, if he falls asleep easily and night wakings are infrequent, if he is getting enough sleep, and if his daytime behavior is appropriate --then whatever you are doing is probably fine."

Here are some ideas of things that you can include in your routine. What you choose to do depends on you, your child and your child's age:

• Decreased stimulation (lights, handling, playing, noise)
• Darkness (serves as a time cue) and a quiet bedroom
• Bath (make sure baby is not too tired or hungry beforehand)
• Massage
• Dress for sleep
• Swaddle (especially under 6 weeks d/t moro reflex)
• Lullaby, singing or humming
• Favorite words, sounds, or phrases- be consistent
• Give reassurances or praises for things during the day
• Read a book (avoid scary ones and new ones). I encourage (even beg you) you to include this as part of your routine. It'll be something your child remembers forever.
• Talk with child about his day
• Bottle or Breast (I generally suggests against feeding to sleep, particularly for naps, since it can create hard to break habits and sleep problems)
• Transitional object or Lovey
• A certain number of hugs, kisses or any other special thing you do with your child
• The Baby Whisperer's "Four S" wind down ritual
• Offer a pacifier
• With a young baby I will sometimes swaddle them and then walk around with them in a light environment for 30-90 seconds to help them relax. I will then go into the room and continue with the rest of the routine. This is especially helpful for babies that start to go a little berserk the second they sense they are being put to bed because they want to stay up and play. And no, I don't think this is a sleep prop issue . You are only doing it for a minute (compared to 20 minutes), and you are not doing it until your child falls asleep.
• I may also carry baby in a baby carrier for several minutes before sleep to calm and soothe her.

A Few Additional Tips

• Keep it simple.
• Make it enjoyable so your child will look forward to it.
• Make it transferable so you can do it anywhere.
• Have a reasonable length (decided by you and not your child).
• Be consistent.
• Be aware that a baby that is overtired or overstimulated is going to need a longer wind down time.
• Do not give into your child. For example, don't keep giving in to more books or "just one more song" or you may end up singing or reading endlessly each night.
• When age appropriate, you may want to give your child a warning (e.g. "2 minutes until bed") as the routine is nearing its end.
• If your child has trouble transitioning to getting ready to bed, you might want to make the first pre-bedtime activity something that he looks forward to, like taking a bath.
• Vary who puts baby down to sleep so you aren't stuck with only one person that can do it.
• Vary sleep location occasionally.
• Skipping the routine because you are in a hurry or your child is going to bed late often doesn't work well because your child may take twice as long to fall asleep.
• As your child gets used to the routine and going to sleep on his own, make sure to put him down less and less drowsy. A child that only knows how to go to sleep from a drowsy state may not be able to put himself back to sleep when he wakes in the night or prematurely from a nap.

What I do, in case you were wondering:
First off, I have tried to have my husband put my son to sleep every so often since he was a newborn. I have also had other people put him to sleep when they were around. He has never had a problem being put to sleep by different people, and I think this has a lot to do with why.

We do almost the same thing for naptime and bedtime. We start off by going into his room and dimming the lights and shutting the door behind us. We then sit down and read a set number of books together. He started taking forever with some books because he started to go forward through the book as well as backwards so I made a rule that he could only go forward through a book at sleep times. This fixed the problem. Next we turn off the lights and hold him and his blanket over our shoulder while we sing then hum a song to him. I then put him in his bed with his blanket, tell him that it is time to sleep, that I love him and that I will see him when he wakes up. I then start humming the same song again as I leave the room and shut the door behind me.

When my son Joshua was a baby, variations from this routine would disrupt him. Now that he is two we still do the same routine, but if for some reason it is done differently, or not at all, it doesn't matter. He still goes to sleep without any problems. It wasn't always this effortless, but hard work and consistency has definitely paid off!